Disappointment can be defined as the experience of sadness involving unfulfilled hopes or expectations. Like most of us, it is an emotion that I’m not fond of, I’m often unsure how to react when I experience it and often try to avoid it. Instead of accepting the failure – as that is often how I see it – I will deflect and instead choose to feel anger at the other parties involved, at myself, at the world in general.
Inevitably, I have to experience the feelings that come with disappointment, whether it be failure, loss of opportunity, hopelessness and/or anger. A lot of the time I find that when experiencing disappointment, I take it out on those around me. I’m finding that how I’m handling disappointment in these situations is not healthy for myself or others. So, I’ve decided to make a change and look for the optimal way to cope when faced with these situations. And being the person I am, I thought I’d help out my fellow human beings by bringing y’all in the know ;).
Dealing with disappointment
- Acknowledge and accept
Acknowledge that you did not get what you wished to and then accept it. Before we do that, we can’t adequately deal with the emotions that we are experiencing. Normalising the situation can also help moral, disappointment happens to everyone at some point. It’s normal.
In reframing you take away the emotion from the situation, putting a more objective frame around it. Try writing down what happened in a clinical manner, it will help give you some of the power back and highlight areas where things went bad or well.
- Speak it into existence
It’s time to change your mind set. Often when feeling disappointment, we might remember the situation in a negative light. It’s easier to see the instances where things went wrong then to see the times when things went right. Make your language more powerful and positive “Disappointment happens to everyone but it doesn’t have to stop me from moving on”.
- Plan Plan Plan!
Plan out your next move and your strategy of action. Making a plan will get you back on your feet and give you a direction to move in. Don’t forget to make SMART goals.
We all experience disappointment at some point, we are all human! But the more you experience it the better you get at dealing with it. The defining moment is not the failure, it’s what you do after you failed. You have to get back up and get back in the game.
“If you stop, you’ll lose everything. You’ve got to keep going.”
~ Greyson Chance