“The only thing that’s constant is change”
I should be comforted in that certainty, yet when change happens I can’t help but feel anxious and ill prepared. Friendships are often part of that constant wheel of change. In the moment, we feel the relationship will last a life time, we make pacts, swear to stay in contact and forge memories we will revisit decades after.
What isn’t accounted for is the effects of growth, maturity… life. Life has a way of bringing you to places you never thought you would go. It has you doing things you swore you never would and saying things you don’t mean. Some friends will grow with you, but more often than not you end up growing apart. You start to drift, communications break down and one day you’re forced to acknowledge the fact that you aren’t as close as you used to be. This is the sad tale of many a friendship. A fate one of my favourite friendship groups almost experienced.
But I had an epiphany, Jada Pinkett Smith, Queen Latifah, Regina Hall and Tiffany Haddish came to me… Well they didn’t come to me, more like I brought a ticket to go see them, but the specifics aren’t important, what matters is I saw it, I saw Girls Trip and I was changed. I had fallen into this prideful mindset, believing that if you wasn’t for me you were against me. But having yes men doesn’t mean they are the right men, and in case it wasn’t clear this is a call to action. Protect your friendships – if they real, bury the hatchet, it’s not worth it. If communication is the problem – TALK! In this day and age, it’s never been easier. Team work makes the dream work and your friends will open your eyes to realities you were unable to see. They are there to guide to keep you on your path and give you the boost you didn’t know you needed. Humans are social creatures for a reason, it aids survival. Working independently may help you get things done faster but people, working with people, will get you further.
This is a season for change (isn’t it always), it’s time to try harder, to do better. These links are not as disposable as you may think, and when you remove the pride you’ll realise just how beneficial these relationships are. Now I’m not saying you should hold on to relationships for a come up. But realising the value of friendships is important. Its relevant especially in this climate of suspicion, “fake friends” and “snakes”. It seems a lot of the rhetoric around friendship is focused on the negative, when these relationships are so much more. Get yourself a few real ones, and don’t be afraid to make new friends they bring with them a world of possibilities.
“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship”
~ Thomas Aquinas
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